


no matter what

by lurKINGaroundd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:05:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd
Summary: For a second, MJ lost her breath, her heart skipped a beat, and she was so used to feel that way around him, but never like that.This time it felt like a bullet hitting her heart, instead of butterflies flying in her stomach.





	no matter what

“I don’t love you anymore, that’s why.”

Michelle couldn’t believe her ears, _she must have heard that wrong._ MJ never imagined she would have to hear such words, at least never from him.

They sounded awful, coming from his mouth, in the sound of his voice.

“W-what?” She asked, because she really didn’t understand.

“Did I stutter?” Peter simply said, his voice sounding even colder than before, as if it was possible.

“So that’s it?” Michelle tried. “You just don’t love me anymore?”

He scoffed, mockingly even. “Finally you got it.”

_This is impossible,_ MJ thought. This boy, _man,_ in front of her wasn’t Peter, it couldn’t be. 

It couldn’t be the same Peter that held her all night, gently kissed her shoulders, promising her that _he would protect her no matter what._ Making promises more to himself than to her, to assure that he could stand by her side.

“What happened?” Michelle questioned, tears starting to well up against her will, as she stared at him, his face more blank, cold and empty than she had ever seen. 

MJ thought that if she was to see this Peter in the streets she wouldn’t even recognize him. 

He sighed, as if he was tired and bored of this whole exchange. “Is it that hard for you to understand that I just don’t want to be with you anymore?”

For a second, MJ lost her breath, her heart skipped a beat, and she was so used to feel that way around him, but never like that. 

This time it felt like a bullet hitting her heart, instead of butterflies flying in her stomach.

That bluntness, that coldness, the way that Michelle was almost forgetting how he looked like even though he was right in front her, hurt more than anything that had ever caused her pain.

More than when she fell and broke her arm as a kid. More than when a car almost ran over her, and she was pushed out of the way and to the ground and dislocated her shoulder. More than when she felt her breath being completely took away as she almost fell to her death from the top of a Ferris Wheel. 

“Why are you lying to me?” MJ demanded, because that couldn’t be true. “What kind of sick joke is this?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “This is not a joke. It is what it is.” His words sounded more dry than a desert. “Can I go now?”

_Can I go now?_ Oh right, they were in her apartment, and the door was right behind him. _No, he can’t go._

“You didn’t answer me.” She accused. “I asked you, why are you lying to me?”

Peter didn’t look her in the eyes then, and Michelle wondered if he was at least feeling a little bit of the agony she was feeling right now. 

“I’m not lying.” Peter impatiently answered. “I’m going.”

His hand touched the door handle, and MJ shouted. “No, Peter!”

He had his back at her, and he froze in his step, as if he couldn’t control it himself, as if she had casted a spell on his body with the power of her voice.

“You know…” Michelle started, her voice a bit weak, very sad, but still with a hint of determination. “When you said you would protect me no matter what… If you think that’s what you’re doing… You’re not doing it right.”

Peter maintained his back at her, and she couldn’t see him, couldn’t try to read his eyes, but she hoped that whatever expression he had on his face looked more like him, like the real Peter. _Her Peter._

“This it not-” He argued, but she interrupted. 

“Peter…” MJ used his name, as if it would help her reach him, to get him out of whatever hell he had condemned himself into. “I don’t need you to protect me.” She had already said that so many times, and she didn’t know if it would work now. “I… I’d rather have you say you would _love_ me not matter what.”

This time, Peter didn’t answer, and soon she heard the click of her door. He began to open it.

“If you-” Michelle tried, and her voice once again stopped him for one more second. “If you walk out that door right now… if you do it...” She breathed hard. “If you dot it, I don’t want to ever see you again.”

MJ could only hear the sound of his breathing, and she realized that maybe this was the last time she was going to see him, and she was only staring at his back. As if it was telling her, how they could never be, how she was bound to always watch him leave, seeing his back.

“Not matter what you say, not matter what you do...” Michelle continued. “I’ll never have you back.”

“Goodbye, then.” His voice sounded unfairly soft, he didn’t look back, and left, closing the door after him.

With the noise of her door closing, one tear finally fell, and many more after.

 

 

Michelle never dared to wonder if her life was worth the same as others, if it was worth more or less, humans were equal, that’s all she believed.

On the other hand, Peter had to choose, between her life, or hundred lives of strangers.

Who was more important for New York’s hero? Someone challenged.

He chose both, only because he could, because he was that strong, because he was Spider-Man.

His suit was torn, he didn’t have his mask, and New York found the man, _boy,_ behind the spider.

As he lifted and stopped an unbelievable weight of crushing her, and other people, MJ finally met the real Peter Parker again. 

Michelle looked into his eyes, and it was him. She saw it, the passion, the kindness, the determination, the love, and of course, the pain. 

Peter took one chance, and allowed himself to take at least one more glance at her, and it killed him. 

He shouldn’t have looked, because trying to hold this weight was far more easy than what he had to do to leave her. 

One glance was all it took for him to feel back at square one, for all his life with her flash through his mind, for all the kisses and touches, all the memories to electrify him.

Turning that agony into strength, Peter did what he had to do. He saved her, and all those people, because he’s Spider-Man.

 

 

Michelle read the message on her phone just one time, and deleted it right away. 

She was a woman of her word. 

The time came, ten at night, and she didn’t go to his encounter.

It was for the best for the both of them, MJ convinced herself.

If he was going to protect her, she was going to protect him too. 

So she wouldn’t have to see his face in pain like that ever again, so he wouldn’t have to choose, so he wouldn’t have to kill himself doing it.

And not matter what he said, and what he did, Michelle didn’t have him back.

 

 

Ten at night, and she wasn’t there, just as he expected. 

Peter smiled to himself.

The hero never looked for her again, but he would love her, like she asked him to, not matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> (English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)
> 
> Sorry about that. 
> 
> Find me on twitter: @lurKINGaroundd  
> or tumblr: @lurkingg-around
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
